Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

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Once
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Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Once » Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:39 pm

A long long time ago in a car dealership not so far away ...

So you are thinking about getting a 1 series, my young apprentice? Let me be your guide in the ways of the Force. First you must go to the Degobah system, there you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me.

First, let’s talk about space, the final frontier ... oops, sorry, wrong film! There’s no getting away from it, the 1er is a small car. Think X-wing rather than Star Destroyer. It sure is snug in that cockpit. If you are Chewbacca you will probably fit behind the wheel, but don’t ask Darth Vader to sit behind you. With the seat fully back, there is just about enough room for an Ewok in there. One of the really small ones.

The seats can be a little on the huggy side too. Fine if you are a snake-hipped Han Solo, but Jabba’s lardyarse won’t fit.

If space is a priority, then hyperspace over to those good folk at Volkswagen or Audi and ask to see a Golf or A3.

Then there’s the ride and the handling. The good news is that the 1er handles like a one man fighter zipping along a deathstar trench. Because all the thrust comes from the back (ooer), the front wheels can concentrate on the steering. The Force is indeed strong with this one.

The bad news that the ride can be as hard as Bobba Fett’s helmet. This is certainly not as comfy as Bobba sailbarge. Move up to an M-sport and the ride is harder still. That’s the price you pay for the handling, my young padawan.

But I do have to warn you about the handling should you ever venture out to the Ice World of Hoth. You will need Jedi reflexes in snow and ice. Just like Pod racing – no human can do it. When it snows leave the 1er in the hangar and head out in a Tom-Tom. You know it makes sense.

Now some really great news. The 1er has some of the best engines in the galaxy. Forget the Millenium Falcon doing the Kessel run in under eight parsecs, the 1er will give you both great performance and good economy. The petrols engines range from Imperial shuttle 116i to warp speed 135i, but don’t underestimate the dark side. The sootchuckers are not far behind in performance and way ahead in economy.

You cannot escape your destiny. You have to make up your own mind about the looks. Some see a storm-troopers helmet, others the sleek lines of a Nubian starship. Is the 1er Jar Jar Binks or Princess Leia in a gold bikini? The 1er’s appearance divides opinion even more than Lando Calrisian. Heroic defender of the rebellion or token black actor? Hmm....

The standard hifi is nothing special. Think the band in the Mos Eisley cantina rather than the John Williams theme music. You will definitely want to upgrade the speakers at the very least.

So there you have it, the BMW 1 series. Agile enough to destroy a death star, clever enough to know six million languages, fast enough to outrun imperial cruisers. It won’t be for everyone, but if you can live with its weaknesses, it will bring balance to the Force and restore peace to the Galaxy.

:starwars:

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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by EvoGlynn » Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:02 pm

:lol: :lol:

That is very good!! Must have taken you ages to think up and write?!

But, all very true :D
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by tminal » Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:03 pm

Excellent, a great read. 8)
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Sam1er » Fri Mar 27, 2009 3:02 pm

Enjoyed the read :) Thanks
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Windy Miller » Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:18 am

:lol:
Absolutely spot on.

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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Lee_2f2f » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:20 am

Excellent read! made me giggle, I love the "sootchuckers" comment. :lol:

Well done little Padawan. :starwars:
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by niuniu » Wed Aug 25, 2010 1:25 pm

Very good :lol:




But I wonder.. Once = ?
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by midlifecrisis » Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:54 pm

Good read ..... very entertaining ..... especially for one such as me who isn't the slightest bit interested in SciFi! Good on yer :D
Paul



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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Glen123d » Sat Sep 25, 2010 4:17 pm

haha, what a great read! :lol: :starwars:
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by verysideways » Sat Sep 25, 2010 4:20 pm

Nicely put :-)
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Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Japanred120d » Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:12 pm

Funniest thing I've read on here. Makes perfect sense too
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by Bubbles » Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:23 am

One word AWESOME :lol: :lol:

a lot of thought went into that.

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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by darkbydesign » Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:25 pm

Very good..... and true :)
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Re: Should I buy a 1 series? The Star Wars Guide

Post by skuid87 » Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:14 pm

Fantastic!

Very well written and definitely accurate portrayal of the 1er!

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